很少看王傢衛的電影，他的風格太像Andy Warhol，有一個Warhol在我的世界就足夠了。

春光乍泄，是一部要用心去看的電影。在裏面，沒有一件事是明確表達的，好像感情，有起有落。可是愛的力量卻驚人的大，預料之外的可能發生，而最後總會有一個選擇。整個電影兩個小時的過程中，故事情節起起伏伏，可是在結束的那一刻，突然感覺有東西砸在了心裏頭，突然懂得了一切。它是太少有的好電影，提醒我們在人格裏愛就是愛，欲望就是欲望，不管我們是什麽人種，什麽性別，什麽顔色。喜歡它的地方，是它可以把同性戀表現成那麽正常又熱烈的愛，不帶著任何邪惡的念頭。

在電影開頭，Leslie和Tony就在找那個位于世界盡頭的瀑布，中途迷路，只好返回原地。在電影最後，Tony要離開阿根廷之前，想再一次開車去找那個瀑布。儅他一個人，站在瀑布前面，全身被奔流而下的水淋溼，他的嘴角微微張開。其實世界的盡頭從來不是天涯海角，它是心裏的一個地方，到達那裏，你會看到愛，看開一切。

p.s. Leslie和Tony真的都是美到致死的男子。

p.p.s. 毬毬要加油哦！雖然好久沒聯係了，那天看到你，我還是嚇一跳，知道你這幾年付出了很多努力。我會一直為你禱告的，你知道，你在我心裏一直都是最棒的。

帶著微弱的聲音，還有薄弱的記憶在腦海裏。離開時Jason的眼神，燒烤爐的氣味，三點鈡的尷尬，成堆的髒盤子，Kevin很gay的聲音，wonderland的人山人海。

曾經聼過的一句話，愛情是對人類的一種考驗，關於一個人的堅持，和承諾的意義。我不需要用別人來判斷自己，我的懦弱和輕易放棄實現而意見的。不會鍾愛一樣東西很久，一直都只會逃避。我不覺得羞恥，因爲發現，愛我的人，就應該接受我的一切，而不是遮蔽雙眼，不看那些陰暗面。只要一天沒對自己失望，就沒有人有資格對我失望。

反倒在這過程中，我變得堅強。

寫這個blog的時候，總是會慢慢反省，想起過去的人和事。從冬天就開始讀安妮寶貝的“素年錦時”，很慢很慢地讀，她的每一句話都要反復的品嘗，才能懂得裏面的含義。喜歡她作品的人，往往都是欣賞她對世間的看法，欣賞她爲人處世只帶著單純和真摯的感情。而我只是讀，依舊保存著自己的生活方式。我不是適合人群的孩子，可是卻很愛與人接觸，希望能看到每個人身上特別的地方。對一個人還不了解的時候，我總是潛意識地相信他會是好的。每個人的過去裏都會有讓你驚訝的地方，我喜歡看到那份特別，新鮮。

社交，就是要看到別人的好，完整自己。隨時保護好自己，以免受傷害。也就沒有什麽可以恐懼了。

想起很多人，還是會内疚，那時候沒有做得更好。現在不停地對自己說，我已經向前走了，我已經離開過去了。

This one should keep us all thinking.

This is a true story of something that happened just a few years ago at USC. There was a professor of philosophy there who was a deeply committed atheist. His primary goal for one required class was to spend the entire semester to prove that God couldn't exist. His students were always afraid to argue with him because of his impeccable logic. Sure, some had argued in class at times, but no one had ever really gone against him because of his reputation.

At the end of every semester on the last day, he would say to his class of 300 students, "If there is anyone here who still believes in Jesus, stand up!" IN TWENTY YEARS, NO ONE HAD EVER STOOD UP. They knew what he was going to do next. He would say, "Because anyone who believes in God is a fool. If God existed, he could stop this piece of chalk from hitting the ground and breaking. Such a simple task to prove that He is God, and yet He can't do it." And every year, he would drop the chalk onto the tile floor of the classroom. And it would shatter into a hundred pieces. All of the students would do nothing but stop and stare.

Most of the students thought that God couldn't exist. Certainly, a number of Christians had slipped through, but for 20 years, they had been too afraid to stand up. Well, a few years ago, there was a freshman who happened to enroll. He was a Christian, and had heard the stories about his professor. He was required to take the class for his major, and he was afraid. But for three months that semester, he prayed every morning that he would have the courage to stand up no matter what the professor said, or what the class thought. Nothing they said could ever shatter his faith, he hope.

Finally, the day came. The professor said, "If there is anyone here who still believes in God, stand up!" The professor and the class of 300 people looked at him, shocked, as he stood up at the back of the classroom. The professor shouted, "YOU FOOL!!! If God existed, he would keep this piece of chalk from breaking when it hit the ground!" He proceeded to drop the chalk, but as he did, it slipped out of his fingers, off his shirt cuff, onto the pleat of his pants, down his leg, and off his shoe. As it hit the ground, it simply rolled away unbroken. The professor's jaw dropped as he stared at the chalk. He looked up at the young man, and then ran out of the lecture hall. The young man, who had stood, proceeded to walk to the front of the room and shared his faith in Jesus for the next half hour. 300 students stayed and listened as he told of God's love for them and of His power through Jesus.

YOU HAVE 2 CHOICES. 1, pretend you never read this. 2, pass this along to your Christian and non-Christian friends, giving them encouragement we all need every day. When you choose option 2, you have chosen to STAND UP.

In light of the many jokes we tell to one another for a laugh, this is a little different. This is not intended to be a joke, it's not funny, it's intended to get you thinking....

Isn't if funny how simple it is for people to trash God and then wonder why the world's going to hell? Isn't it funny how we believe what the newspapers say, but question what the Bible says? Isn't it funny how everyone wants to go to heaven, provided they do not have to believe, think, say, or do anything the Bible says? Or is it scary? Isn't if funny how someone can say "I believe in God" but still follow Satan (Who, by the way, also "believes" in God)? Isn't it funny how you can send a thousand jokes through e-mail and they spread like wildfire, but when you start sending messages regarding the Lord, people think twice about sharing? Isn't it funny how the lewd, crude, vulgar and obscene pass freely through cyberspace, but the public discussion of Jesus is suppressed in the school and workplace? Isn't it funny how someone can be so fired up for Christ on Sunday, but be an invisible Christian the rest of the week?

Are you laughing?! Isn't it funny how when you go to tell someone this, you won't because you're not sure what they believe, or what they will think of you for telling them? Isn't it funny how I can be more worried about what other people think of me than what God thinks of me?

Will YOU pass this on?

I did.

愛在錯過了才更加珍惜，只要知道，我還在你的記憶裏。如果有一天再相遇，我會挽著陌生男子的手，假裝甜蜜。要你知道，我已經向前走了。

獨自一個人面對是非題，才看清真正想要的，才肯捨得放手。決心不再掙扎和堅持，要過自己想要的生活，就算被人說懶惰，就算被人說那是逃避。不論貧富，不論那些被浪費掉的時間，我是快樂的。我是要自由的。

在十秒内作出的決定，不是衝動，那是直覺。我決定要去那個地方，看我想看的風景，過我想過的生活，決定離開或是逃避，給自己最好的，做喜歡的事情，決定不再被束縛，不再等待任何人的允許。

真正的勇氣，是用來追求那種簡單的幸福的。